Connecting with your Core Self

It can sometimes feel as though we live so much of our lives up in our heads or in versions of ourselves that are designed around what we should be or what other people need from us. It can be tricky to even know who we are, what we like or don’t like, what we would actually choose or dream of, beyond what we feel we’re allowed. Try thinking about what you want in life if there was no-one else to please, if there were no restrictions, if no-one would be let down or cross with you… if that feels difficult or you find yourself defaulting to familiar roles you have settled into in your life that perhaps don’t feel completely and authentically YOU then it might be helpful to know that 1) you’re far from being the only one who feels that way and 2) there are things you can do, like, right now, today!

When you’re trying to connect with your core, authentic self, beneath the masks you wear, roles you play, and other parts that pop up for you here are some strategies to try:

Tune Into Your Body

1) Mindful Movement – try yoga, dancing, or simple stretches to feel into your body. Become aware of your body as a whole, beyond life as you experience it in your mind.

2) Somatic Check-Ins – be still and silent and develop a sense of where tension, ease, or even numbness are located within your body. If you’re feeling really adventurous try the somatic practice of asking places of tension what they need, or what they want to say to you.

3) Breathwork – notice your breathing, let it slow and deepen or if that feels too much just allow it to flow as it wants to and spend a few moments just noticing it, centering yourself in the present.

Reconnect with Joy

1) Revisit childhood passions – remember the activities you enjoyed as a child, chances are they’ll unlock things you’ll find pleasure in again today.

2) Play – engage in being silly and lighthearted without any purpose or worrying about the outcome.

Journal Freely

1) Try writing a stream of consciousness or do an extended Brain Flush

2) Look online at places like Pinterest for journaling prompts or ask Chat GPT to produce some personalised ones just for you on a theme that’s on your mind.

3) Work through these questions:

-When do I feel most like myself? What activities, environments, or people bring out my true essence?

-What are the three most important values that guide my life, and how do they show up in my daily choices?

-If my inner voice could speak freely, what would it want me to know or remember right now?

-What are the qualities, skills, or passions that make me unique, and how can I honor them more fully?

-If I could live in perfect alignment with my true self, what would my ideal day look like? How would I feel, act, and show up in the world?

Spend Time in Nature

1) Walk barefoot on grass, sit by water, or take in the quiet of a forest. Nature naturally reconnects us to ourselves.

Embrace Mindfulness

1) Use an online guided meditation for even just a couple of minutes – https://insighttimer.com/ has some great ones.

2)Practise mindfulness by focusing fully on one sensory experience e.g. your hands in water as you wash them, watching clouds floating across the sky, noticing background sounds or birdsong, fully enjoying food as you chew it.

Listen to Your Inner Voice

1) Practise noticing when you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to small decisions whether or not it feels aligned to your deeper self.

2)Tune into your gut feelings and intuition without overanalysing – just notice…

Seek Connection

1) Share your authentic thoughts whenever you can with trusted friends or with a therapist

2)Engage with communities and groups where you feel ‘at home’ or where you feel comfortable sharing self-discovery.

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

1) Reflect on what makes you, you! What are your quirks? Chances are these are the things your friends love about you.

2)Use affirmations for self-acceptance.

Start by experimenting in small ways with these practices and find our what feels nourishing for you; trust the process of rediscovery. If you’d like someone to take this journey alongside you and help join the dots then working with the right therapist for you could be really helpful and be a very worthwhile investment. This is our one life and there is magic to be found in the everyday. You are a wonderful and unique human as you are – just waiting to be celebrated!

With love,
Jill x x x